Be Kind to Yourself

Posted: January 31, 2012 in Confessions of the CEO, Excuses excuses..., Fitness
Tags: , , ,

I recently read a post called “The Difference Between Being Nice and Being Kind” – please read it if you have the time.  You may or may not agree with her but the article has stuck with me for days.

The article suggests that nice people “try to please so that they can feel good about themselves” and kind people “take responsibility for their own self-care”.

The article addressed nice and kind people’s relationships with others.  As a personal trainer, I mainly focus on people’s relationship to themselves.  I see the same distinction between people who are nice to themselves and people who are kind to themselves.

People who are nice to themselves allow themselves to sleep in even after they’ve made a commitment to train 3X/week at 6am.  People who are nice to themselves sign up for a 8 week session and don’t show up again after the first class because they didn’t like how they felt about themselves (clumsy, awkward, fat…) in that first session.  People who are nice to themselves have 2 glasses of wine after a really shitty day.  Nice people have great intentions.  They come up with a severely restrictive plan to change their whole life and the first day they can’t follow it, they give up entirely and wait for the next wave of motivation (often in the form of self-hatred) to kick in.  Nice people set themselves up for failure and when they feel really badly about themselves they pick themselves up with a piece of cheesecake.

In a nutshell, people who are nice to themselves blow off their commitment to their own health the second they don’t feel like doing it.

I used to be nice to myself and I spent most of my energy feeling shitty and wishing that my life, my body, my energy level would magically be better.  Praise to be Allah, I learned that being nice to myself wasn’t going to get me there.

Being kind did.

Kind people act in their own best interests.  Kind people treat themselves as though they are their own loving parent – the type of parent who wants them to succeed.  A parent who wants them to be happy, responsible, successful and discovering their own potential.

Kind people get up on cold, rainy mornings because they committed to doing that and kind people honor their commitments to themselves.  Kind people have learned that while it’d be “nice” to have cheesecake everyday – an apple will make them feel better, and cheesecake is great on occasion.

Kind people have learned that sometimes you have to do things you don’t “feel like” doing in order to live a life worth living.  Kind people don’t rely on motivation to maintain a balanced life, they rely on commitment.  Kind people don’t beat themselves up after an indulgent weekend.  They enjoy themselves fully and on Monday morning, they get back to their well-balanced and sustainable routine.

Kind people see through the illusion of perfection and don’t fall for the black and white thinking that goes with it.  Kind people know they are going to get old and have decided they will do their best to live their years in a strong and healthy body.   Every day, kind people make choices that will support a healthy present and a happy future.  Habits are hard to break – kind people are gentle, aware and committed to themselves as they break unhealthy habits and create healthy ones.  They forgive their follies and don’t punish themselves by allowing their weaknesses to rule their lives.  Kind people know they won’t always feel like doing it – but at least 80% of the time, they’ll do it anyway.

Kind people don’t let themselves off the hook.  They let themselves succeed.

Be kind to yourselves people.

In health, Sandy

  1. Very thought provoking.

    Do you think nice and kind are mutually exclusive? Can someone flip back and forth or are we one way or the other? Kind today, nice tomorrow?

    • hitgirl says:

      Hi Dan – thanks for your comment. I kept with the spirit of the post I referred to, but of course I’m talking about behaviours and not people. That said, behaviors turn into habits and one could argue that we are what we repeatedly do. See Arisostle for more on that. 😉

      I checked out your blog, it’s awesome – hope my readers take a look too!! Sandy

  2. […] of the week: Sandy Ibrahim at Hitgirl’s Blog asks when it comes to exercise and diet are you nice or kind to yourself? Advertisement GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", "other"); […]

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